I've heard a lot of romantic notions about love: Love is a cool breeze on hot day. Love is never having to say your sorry. Love isn't love til it's given away. Love comes but once in a lifetime.
Mine? Love is an eraser.
On Christmas eve, as I was chatting with my Mom about how cold it was out, in walked Jim. He was being released on the ankle bracelet to serve the rest of his time at home! What a joyous Christmas present! I flew into his arms and every single hardship melted away as he held me and said how much he loved me and he had wanted to surprise me. We had missed our anniversary, but we were going to have Christmas together. Jim checked and double checked what the parimeter's were where he could go around the house. He was very grateful to be home for sure, but he also seemed grateful for me. He spent his days playing video games, cleaning the house, writting me loving emails. He talked about how he wanted to learn more about fixing computers and have his own business. I lavished him with encouragement and he basked in it. He seemed happy. He promised he was going to go to church when his time was done, that he wanted to be a better husband. I vowed to try harder too.
The next couple of months were spent playing spades til dawn with friends, being told I was beauitful and that he loved me, and coming home to a mostly peaceful household. He laughed, we snuggled & talked into the night like we use too. He even made me homemade cards that he left all around the house.
The monitoring people said he had stepped out of bounds once and if he did it again he would go back. Jim had him show him exactly how far in every direction he could go. We wrote it down. I would remind him, at his request, every day so he wouldn't mess up.
April 23rd, the CO walked in the door and arrested Jim. They said he had stepped out of bounds for over 10 minutes the friday before. We had several witnesses that wrote afidavits saying he had not left the area, he must have been just out of bounds. None of it mattered. Jim sunk into despair. He had tried so hard and felt it was unjust to take him back. I agreed. I tried to encourage him by reminding him his time was almost done. Nothing I said inspired him. His rage fueled once again.
And of course he took it out on me.
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