Dec. 18th, 1999

Wouldn't life be great if you could have a "re-do"?

Flashback November, 1999....it would go something like this...

"Yes, I will marry you but we need pre-maritial counseling" Perhaps after 6 weeks of marriage counseling I would take the advice of the Pastor to wait til Jim got out of jail to marry him. Perhaps all the yelling, disrespect & name calling while he was in jail would have me thinking twice before I married him. Perhaps I would see Billie's hesitation of me marrying as a sign to slow down.

Perhaps.

I do know that I don't believe in "regrets." Regrets have you living in the past and you can't change that. My motto has always been to Live & Learn, let yourself Love & make sure you Laugh.

I also know I would never want to loose the memories of my wedding day. It was a cold day, but no snow fell. It was Dec. 18th. I was in the back of the little church I had attended when I lived in Maine. I was nervous and giddy. My Mom cried as she put on my veil. My cousin Loraine was my matron of honor, my cousin Mel was my bridesmaid. My Dad beamed with pride. Dad walked me down the aisle then stod up for Jim as his best man. Nothing I had ever imagined growing up could compare to the joy I felt on that day. As I walked down the aisle you could see how nervous I was. I glanced up to the sky asking God to not let me faint. When I got to the altar Jim whispered "you look so beautiful" & "I love you." We had a few funny moments in our ceremony: when Pastor Harter asked me "do you want to give Loraine your bouquet" I said "no" & when I went to put the ring on Jim's finger I got confused which hand and kinda grabbed one, then the other....prompting Jim to grab my hand, shake it and quip "nice to meet ya"...everyone roared! We wrote our own vows and I truly can't describe what I felt as I said them and as I looked in his eyes as he said them to me. I promise to Love, Cherish, Honor, Respect, Protect, Defend, Comfort & Encourage. Forsaking all others & keeping myself forever faithful. In sickness & in health, in joy & in sorrow. Standing before God, my family and friends, I take thee as my husband/wife til death do us part. When we exchanged rings we said "With this ring I thee wed & so start the greatest journey of my life...as your wife/husband"

The journey may have ended too soon. It was much harder than it should have been. But Garth Brooks said it best ...."our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."