April 4, 2001

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when they come for you.

Jim had worked for a few weeks when he first got out of jail. He had worked at the same place as the woman across the street, so she drove him there. But she left the job, leaving him with no way to get there, so he quit as well. I had to work; I was our only steady source of income. I couldn't drive him to a job. His PO was threatening to send him back to jail if he didn't keep a job (it's part of the probation conditions). He found a job, p/t, doing dishes and being trained to cook. He was happy. The job was over 20 miles away, so he took the chance of not getting pulled over by driving without a license. He was scheduled to go to the dmv April 9 to get his license back. The job was going to increase his hours then too. He was almost home free. Then on April 4th, he stopped in to his scheduled PO appt. and jingled his keys during his chat with him. His PO knew he didn't have a license and that he was getting it back in 5 days. But he became suspicious that he was driving and followed him when he left. Jim was pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license (habital offender-meaning he lost his license because of numerous tickets/citations). This also violated his probation. It was one day shy of a year ago that he had gone to jail the first time.

I put the house up for the bond needed to get him out but it still took 6 weeks. I was working at an insurance agency and was excited I was getting my insurance license back. I was using my breaks at work to call bail bondsmen. Jim called constantly when I was home, at all hours of the night. He yelled and cried and begged and blamed me. I was under alot of stress and it was showing in my job. I couldn't sleep and when I did I had nightmares.

I finally got Jim out of jail, pending trial, just after Mother's day. Jim was facing a standard year in jail (because he had a felony conviction, the sentence for driving under suspended habital offender was 1 year). He was also facing violation of probation charges.

Jim seemed to go full force into rages. He wouldn't talk about anything, he blamed everything in his life on someone else. He was depressed about his Mother's death. Everything about me reminded him of his Mom and he would lash out at me. He told me he hated me and wished he was dead. He said if I had not "rescued" him when we met he wouldn't be going threw this. The cops were at our house 2-3 times per week for domestic calls. About half of them were legit arguements but the rest was a neighbor would stand on the road outside our window and if she heard any sounds would call the police. The stress was near unbearable. I didn't know how much more I could take.

The 1 year anniversary of Dad's surgery/death only added to my load. Jim became enraged when I would cry or want to talk about my Dad. He felt I was trying to make him feel bad because he was depressed about his Mother. It was like I somehow "took away" from his pain by mourning for my Dad. When I tried to explain the pressure I was under and we needed to help each other threw this time, he said I wasn't facing jail, I had only lost my Dad, he had lost his Mother and the only person he loved. I was all alone in my grief and in my burdens.

Then on my birthday I got fired.