Friends

I am going to take a quick break from my usual journey....

Everyone that knows me knows my biggest pet peeve is someone not taking responsibility for their actions. It drives me nutz. I am quite good at accepting that my Mother's decisions about her health reap the benefits or suffer the consequences. The same for my Nana. I hold myself to a high standard of accepting responsibility for my actions. Then why do I feel the need to worry about a friends decisions? I had a flash of insight....it is what I did throughout my marriage with Jim. Now some of his decisions did effect me, when you are married, they will, but others didn't. And why worry about something you can't change? Then I think back to my decision to marry Jim. Others might have seen that I was moving too fast, that he wasn't for me, but I had to make that mistake. I followed my heart, so why do I have such a problem with others potentially making a mistake? I think some is when you care about someone, you do try to warn them. I would expect the same back. some may be that I am still in the bad habit of taking on responsibility that isn't mine. When I was married I was sick with worry about Jim doing drugs, going to jail, the friends he chose, not working, his temper, how it all made me feel. I wanted things to change and so I did everything I could to make them. But perhaps part of this new side to me is that I am wishing I could go back and make changes, that I wished someone had tried to change my mind. But you can never go back. And perhaps part of me is avoiding changing me by focusing on others. The past always seems better and worse than it really was and I can only change me. I can hope, pray, advise but then I need to accept and let go.

True friendship is caring enough to say something but also accepting them just the way they are.....